We all want to raise great kids, that turn into wonderful, caring and thoughtful adults. There is a lot of pressure on a parent to produce such ‘perfect humans’. The truth is, it’s blady hard and half the time I’m seconding guessing myself and the other half, I’m just winging it….
When your new born arrives you are riddled with fear and immense love. The first couple weeks are a blur and then you finally find your feet. If you are lucky enough, you will get to stay home with your precious bundle of joy, but if you are like me… who had to kiss the sweet little baby goodbye at 3 months to return back to work. It was the hardest thing you ever had to get through…
Then they start crawling and walking and you wonder where the time is going. You blink, and they are fast approaching the terrible twos… and here is where the fun begins.
While all of this is happening right in front of your eyes, you have to continue will the everyday life as well… its sucks the energy out of you and when you return home after a busy and mentally draining day at the office… you muster up the last bit to give to your child, in between bathing and cooking and sneaking in a little cuddle time. You have only a few hours with your child every night and the last thing you want to be doing to arguing with them over the fact that they don’t want to eat the lovely cooked dinner but would rather eat a dry piece of bread and a hundred apples.
Sometimes I close the car door but actually he wanted to close it for me… so to avoid a tantrum that is going to echo through our entire flat… I open the car door and let them do it.. Sometimes I let him go and sleep in his granny’s bed at 1am in the morning just because I cant deal with the tantrum and shrieking at that hour (on the nights that he actually sleeps in his bed)… Sometimes I will go and change the color of the cup just to avoid a screaming match… but am I wrong?
I want to raise a well mannered and caring boy. I want him to grow up to a be a Man that others can be proud of. He to sensible and responsible, loving and sensitive but strong and determined. It’s my job to instill those quality’s in him now and its A LOT of pressure.
BUT MY THREANGER IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!
I have to laugh, but some days I’m so frustrated I could peel the skin off my face. Someday it feels like all he does is whine and perform.
He doesn’t want to bath
Doesn’t want to get out the bath
Doesn’t want to take off his pajamas
Doesn’t want the dinner we cooked
Wants another movie after he just watched 2
We poured juice in the wrong cup
We cut up his food wrong
We spoke to him in a sweet voice
We spoke to him in a stern voice
Doesn’t want to sleep in his bed
Doesn’t want to wake up
Doesn’t want to go to bed
The list is never ending and I’m at the end of my rope. Motherhood is damn hard and beyond stressful.
Okay, jokes aside ( but the only way we will survive is my making light of the situation) I understand that their little bodies are also learning and growing and although this is new for me, its also new for him and perhaps a little scary. He is under the impression he can get what he wants and its my job to guide him to understand certain things…. but when he is lying face down on the floor, screaming because I took the phone away and he has to go brush his teeth… my patience doesn’t have time to understand the deep roots of why he is throwing yet another tantrum (last one was about 5 mins ago).
When you become a mother you should get sent on ‘Patience’ course – because you going to need a lot of it.
A typical morning in our house — Connor wanted to walk down the stairs instead of the lift (He always wants to go in the lift) so here’s how the conversation went:
Connor – I walk there (pointing to the stairs)
Me – No, please push the button, we going in the lift
Connor – No
Me – (pushes lift button)
Connor – *Cry’s* I want to push button
Get into lift
Me – Please push the button (he knows which one)
Connor – I don’t want to push
Me – You have 3 seconds to push that button or I’m going to push it
Connor – Pushes button
It often feels like everything is a fight or a struggle, unless he gets his way or unless I bribe him, but even then… I know that’s not the right approach. But sometimes I feel so backed into a corner by a little human that I created that I just need that moment of peace from his screams and cries and moans, that I give in.
He is at the age that he just screams for everything, oh and the back-chat… My word, I’m so sorry for all the times I back chatted my parents or elders… I could scream every time he does it (sometimes I do actually, but that only makes matters worse because he just screams louder)
There is no perfect parents but we all just trying to be good parents (often failing miserably)
I totally get why some parents hide in the bathroom or cupboards for 5 mins peace. It’s totally jusitifable.
Motherhood is damn hard.
And this mama is a hot-mess right now.
Any tips or advice welcome, or perhaps just send wine!