Motherhood · Toddler Life

Hurricane toddlers & learning to pick my battles

We all want to raise great kids, that turn into wonderful, caring and thoughtful adults. There is a lot of pressure on a parent to produce such ‘perfect humans’. The truth is, it’s blady hard and half the time I’m seconding guessing myself and the other half, I’m just winging it….

img_20170428_133954.png

When your new born arrives you are riddled with fear and immense love. The first couple weeks are a blur and then you finally find your feet. If you are lucky enough, you will get to stay home with your precious bundle of joy, but if you are like me… who had to kiss the sweet little baby goodbye at 3 months to return back to work. It was the hardest thing you ever had to get through…

Then they start crawling and walking and you wonder where the time is going. You blink, and they are fast approaching the terrible twos… and here is where the fun begins.

While all of this is happening right in front of your eyes, you have to continue will the everyday life as well… its sucks the energy out of you and when you return home after a busy and mentally draining day at the office… you muster up the last bit to give to your child, in between bathing and cooking and sneaking in a little cuddle time. You have only a few hours with your child every night and the last thing you want to be doing to arguing with them over the fact that they don’t want to eat the lovely cooked dinner but would rather eat a dry piece of bread and a hundred apples.

img_20170314_190241.jpg
Rather eat dry bread than Chicken Ala’King

Sometimes I close the car door but actually he wanted to close it for me… so to avoid a tantrum that is going to echo through our entire flat… I open the car door and let them do it.. Sometimes I let him go and sleep in his granny’s bed at 1am in the morning just because I cant deal with the tantrum and shrieking at that hour (on the nights that he actually sleeps in his bed)… Sometimes I will go and change the color of the cup just to avoid a screaming match… but am I wrong?

img_20170220_175249.jpg
Having a melt-down on his birthday – in true toddler fashion

I want to raise a well mannered and caring boy. I want him to grow up to a be a Man that others can be proud of. He to sensible and responsible, loving and sensitive but strong and determined. It’s my job to instill those quality’s in him now and its A LOT of pressure.

BUT MY THREANGER IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!

I have to laugh, but some days I’m so frustrated I could peel the skin off my face. Someday it feels like all he does is whine and perform.

He doesn’t want to bath

Doesn’t want to get out the bath

Doesn’t want to take off his pajamas

Doesn’t want the dinner we cooked

Wants another movie after he just watched 2

We poured juice in the wrong cup

We cut up his food wrong

We spoke to him in a sweet voice

We spoke to him in a stern voice

Doesn’t want to sleep in his bed

Doesn’t want to wake up

Doesn’t want to go to bed

The list is never ending and I’m at the end of my rope. Motherhood is damn hard and beyond stressful.

img_20170329_072313.jpg
This one was because I had to drive the car.

Okay, jokes aside ( but the only way we will survive is my making light of the situation) I understand that their little bodies are also learning and growing and although this is new for me, its also new for him and perhaps a little scary. He is under the impression he can get what he wants and its my job to guide him to understand certain things…. but when he is lying face down on the floor, screaming because I took the phone away and he has to go brush his teeth… my patience doesn’t have time to understand the deep roots of why he is throwing yet another tantrum (last one was about 5 mins ago).

When you become a mother you should get sent on ‘Patience’ course – because you going to need a lot of it.

img_20170328_163117.jpg
This is how the lounge looks, 5 minutes after getting home from school

A typical morning in our house — Connor wanted to walk down the stairs instead of the lift (He always wants to go in the lift) so here’s how the conversation went:

Connor – I walk there (pointing to the stairs)
Me – No, please push the button, we going in the lift
Connor – No
Me – (pushes lift button)
Connor – *Cry’s* I want to push button
Get into lift
Me – Please push the button (he knows which one)
Connor – I don’t want to push
Me – You have 3 seconds to push that button or I’m going to push it
Connor – Pushes button

It often feels like everything is a fight or a struggle, unless he gets his way or unless I bribe him, but even then… I know that’s not the right approach. But sometimes I feel so backed into a corner by a little human that I created that I just need that moment of peace from his screams and cries and moans, that I give in.

img_20170310_174054.jpg
Can you feel the attitude in this pic?

He is at the age that he just screams for everything, oh and the back-chat… My word, I’m so sorry for all the times I back chatted my parents or elders… I could scream every time he does it (sometimes I do actually, but that only makes matters worse because he just screams louder)

There is no perfect parents but we all just trying to be good parents (often failing miserably)

I totally get why some parents hide in the bathroom or cupboards for 5 mins peace. It’s totally jusitifable.

Motherhood is damn hard.

And this mama is a hot-mess right now.

Any tips or advice welcome, or perhaps just send wine!

with-love-disney-mom

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Hurricane toddlers & learning to pick my battles

  1. That is some brutal honesty right there! Well done for being brave enough to share it! 🙂
    It is so hard hey? We are all just doing the best we can. Keep going strong, one day he will move mountains with that firey spirit!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “I want to peel the skin off my face”…how I understand that one! Threenagers are totally little hurricane forces of emotions! Some days are hard and then other days, you laugh so hard your belly aches. I think that you are right, we could all use a course in patience and we have to pick our battles. The trick that seems to be working with my threenager is positive reinforcement, where I very dramatically make a huge deal about all of the behaviors I want and calmly not try to freak out about the behaviors I do not want. We have a reward system in place, too, with intrinsic rewards like spending time doing a preferred activity with mom. It seems to be helping! Well, that and all the wine! Hahahaha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that my frustrations are not an overexageration… Lol. I sometimes get whiplash from 1 minute ready to pull my hair out – to the next, completely showered with love and affection. I think I need to start a reward chat for our bean. Thanks for the advice 💖💝

      Like

  3. You are doing a great job momma! My little one is only 9 months so I can’t say I fully understand (yet!) but thank you for the honesty!! Now I won’t think I’m crazy when I do the same with my little guy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You will definitely not BE crazy but you might FEEL a little crazy. Its all part of the course. Enjoy your little guy while he cant talk back yet. Motherhood is amazing but oh so testing. LOL. Thanks for your comment.

      Like

  4. It’s so true (and wise) that you have to pick your battles. We only have so much energy after a long day. I used to call my sweet girl a cute little terrorist–constantly making demands and threats. It might get easier, but never forget to pick your battles and let some things go. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh I am with you on this one and I have no advice, unfortunately. I too have a threenager and wow, most days I just wing and like you I’ll go and change the cup just to save my ears! I’m sure they’ll grow out of it, I hope.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s