This past Saturday there was a memorial service for a woman who I did not know well but for some reason I felt for her. She had a smile that wore a 1000 pains. I had only met her a few times but each time she was so friendly to me and Connor. I sat across from her at an NA meeting once and just felt for her.. I could see her pain and suffering. I do not know how it is to suffer with the disease but I do know how it is to live on the outside and watch someone you love, self destruct.
It’s with a heavy heart that I wasn’t there to support my husband and his friends, as they said goodbye to a beautiful soul that was lost in her disease; and sadly that’s the harsh reality of the disease.. many don’t make it out alive.
She leaves behind a young boy that will hopefully never know her world of pain. May she rest in peace; knowing that she is free from the hell she was in and can be the guardian angel for her son, that I’m sure she so desperately wanted to be on earth.
For days after I heard of her tragic passing, I could not stop thinking about her. My heart broke for her family and for her son. I think it hit’s so close to home, because a couple of months ago my husband was in the pit of his disease and we wondered every day if we were going to get the dreaded phone call. Every time the phone ran, we had shrill’s down our spines… constantly on edge… expecting the worst but hoping for the best. Our nerves were constantly shattered!
That could have been him…. that’s the reality of the disease… Jails, Institutions or Death!
I think what also makes me sad – is the fact that these incidents are covered enough… the way she was found and the situation she was in – it’s so common yet our society has such a stigma around Drug Addicts, that they do not feel like it is something that should be out there! But there are so many people who suffer in silence and I cant help but wonder how many people could seek the necessary help – by just getting the word out there. Let them know they’re not alone, that there is a way to recover. With everything, Education is key.
Then you get places like “Whoonga Park” in Durban, South Africa that are riddled with drugs, crime and abuse. The Stats regarding drug related crimes in our country has sky rocketed in recent years. Living with the disease and trying to work a program in recovery, is a tall order on the average person, but add poverty to the mix and it’s near impossible.
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if drugs didn’t exist, if there was nothing in our brains that caused certain people to become addicted; to gambling, to alcohol, to drugs.
Addiction is a silent killer and the silence needs to be broken. Look at the celebrity’s – so many have lost the battle against Addiction but many have found recovery in the NA/ AA/ The 12 Steps program. It is possible!
People have a stained image of junkies and drunks, society prevents you from being able to see past the addiction. They label it as a CHOICE! But its so much more than that. We can’t blame them though, as its often the people who have never loved someone with the disease, or has never been at the bottom of the spiral with an active addict.
Addiction is a disease and instead of sweeping all these heartbreaking and gut wrenching stories under the rug! We need to educate and empower.
But the sad truth is; for us that watch from the side line, and for addicts who try to assist other addicts is – That you can bring the active addict to recovery but you can not make them live it. Each Addict has to make the fearless choice for themselves to fully accept their defects and they have to wake up every morning – ignore the demons and choose recovery. Their recovery doesn’t get a day-off…. there is no vacation or a time when they don’t have to practice it.
Carry the message!
Disney Mom (An Addicts Wife)