As a first time Mother, I always find myself in anticipation of the next milestone, the next step, the next word and next sentence. In a way, I’m so eager to see him learn and grow that the time that he is just a baby, flashes past in the blink of an eye!
He has become so independent and determined to do things for himself and boy can he scream the house down if you open the yogurt lid and he actually wanted to do it! Don’t dare pick him up and put him in the bath, if today is the day he wants to climb in himself.
A part of me is so proud of the little boy he has become, the sweetest nature and stubborn streak, so loving and caring. However part of me is sad, that the time has gone so fast. From breastfeeding, to making formula bottles to my son now getting the milk out the fridge, his bottle out the dish rack and bringing both to me in order to pour him some milk. Soon he will be pouring it himself.
I have to remind myself that getting up 2-3 times a night (as much as it can be annoying and tiring) is only going to last so long, there will be a time that he eventually is in his own bed and no longer waking up and I wont know when the last time will be, so I must cuddle a little longer and pour the milk a little slower.
Last night I experienced my first “Why?” from Connor bean. The stage has begun, a million questions and not enough answers. I was busy cutting up potatoes to put into the oven and Connor asked me for some apple. I said he can’t have apple now as we going to have dinner, so he showed me the raw potato on the counter and demanded the apple. I explained to him that this is not an apple but potato and mommy is going to cook it. To which he reply’s “Why”. It caught me off guard actually, he looking up at me with inquisitive eyes looking for an answer as to why the potato was a potato and not an apple! All I could do was laugh and hug him!
He drives me crazy and loves to push the boundaries just enough before turning around and doing something so cute that I have to smile. He loves puzzles and books, but only lets you read one page before taking ownership of the book and going through it himself, I hope to continue to nurture his love for books as he grows older.
So from today, I will tell myself to have more patience with the fact that I have to ask 15 times before he actually listens, and let him play in the bath for 5 minutes more (after having a tantrum for 10 mins to actually get into the bath). To enjoy tripping over trucks, tractors and legos and sitting on crayons shoved into the couch. To enjoy the 5 books, 3 teddy s, 1 Buzz light year, 1 toy phone, a torch and a rolling-pin (I have no idea!) that sleep in the double bed with us every night. Because for tonight I get to snuggle and hold his hand while he sleeps and that is worth every single stumped toe, wasted dinner (food strikes can be a real struggle) and piles of washing that fill my bathroom floor.
My dearest Connor bean, I promise to stand for you, to do anything for you.